the Jill Saunders blog

No One Expects You to Make Another Meal & More Love Notes


April 10, 2020

So…we’ve been at this for a while…how are you? It can be overwhelming, can’t it? I’m saying prayers for all fighting the virus, for our healthcare workers, and all others on the front line. Prayers for strength and resilience.

I’m writing today to share a little research…and some love notes. I’ve had a tough week. I’ve been in a few conversations where I haven’t been at my best, and those I’m talking to haven’t been at their best either. I’ve been triggered, and the stress hormones have taken off, causing a cascade of stress physiology in my body.

The Institute of HeartMath shares a study that says this is to be expected. The study shows that at about day 20 of prolonged stress, performance begins to decline. We don’t have any reserves, our resiliency is low. Our amygdala or reptilian part of our brain has been activated, and we react in fight or flight. Often times we are hijacked from using the higher thinking regions of our brain where we problem solve, communicate, think creatively and collaborate…just when we need it the most. Sigh.

Here’s an idea on how to handle those difficult moments you may be in. Since our brains aren’t acting optimally, why not make a little shift and act from our hearts. The practice would look like this, when you are showing up in a conversation or dialogue, and it begins to get difficult, ask yourself, “what does their heart need to hear?” It may sound like the list below. Check out the links to love notes you can print out in case it’s a little hard to say it.

It’s not what fight would say, it’s not what flight (shut down, self protect) may say, it is what your heart wants to say, and their heart wants to hear.

Remember, love builds immunity, stress robs us of it. Knowing your heart intelligence knows exactly what to say at the moments that matter.

With love,


  1. Leslie Schwarting says:

    These are beautiful and just what many people need to hear! Thank you Jill!

  2. Holly says:

    These are beautiful—and such a beautiful idea, Jill! I admire your compassion and intelligence and how you merge these two things in the work you do. Stay well, safe, sane!

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