I remember clearly the experience of being taught that being AWKWARD is actually a really good thing. I was early in my career in leadership development, and visiting with a vendor about their approach to development. The vendor shared a ladder that illustrated how we acquire a new skill or behavior, they called it the learning ladder.

What they shared is that we move through a predictable process. First, we become AWARE that there is something we want to change. A new habit, a new behavior, a new skill – we become AWARE that we’d like this integrated in our life. Then, the next phase is that we are AWKWARD at it. Yes folks, before it becomes natural for use – we struggle at it, we are clumsy, we are AWKWARD.

What I’ve learned is that being AWKWARD isn’t comfortable. It doesn’t feel good. So when you are in the AWKWARD phase, it’s really easy to say to yourself “this isn’t going well, I think I may quit”. Yes, this is where you take that exit ramp back to your status quo.

The trick, is that you need to be intentional about PRACTICING when you are AWKWARD. Intentional PRACTICE is the way forward. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE until what you are learning becomes AUTOMATIC.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you want to become better at developing the skill of empathy and listening. You become AWARE you want to get better at it. You skill up on how to listen. Then you try it out, and are AWKWARD at it. PRACTICE is your friend when you are AWKWARD.

A tip from the world of coaching is to look for opportunities to PRACTICE. Look ahead on your calendar, when do you want to PRACTICE this new skill of empathy? When is the next opportunity? The next meeting? The next conversation? The next connection with that person that challenges you? Schedule your PRACTICE, then, try it out!

After you PRACTICE, reflect, how is it going? What’s going well? What do you want to do different next time? Then, with a few PRACTICE reps under your belt, just like strength training, you will develop your muscle – and soon it will be AUTOMATIC for you. You won’t have to think of it. You need to put in your practice reps before it becomes part of your muscle memory.

Friends, it is really beautiful to be AWKWARD, to be clumsy, to fail, to learn, to try again, and again. This is what we know from yoga, the more we PRACTICE and fall out of a pose, the more our PRACTICE becomes part of our being. When I practice with my yogis, we try new poses, we fall out, we look silly. But it’s in the AWKWARD practice that we grow strong in a pose.

Be AWKWARD friends. Be AWKWARD, be clumsy, fail, fall, then get up, learn from what you did, and PRACTICE again. The mindset of PRACTICING is so powerful.

Want to integrate a new skill, behavior, way of being?

1. Nice work! You became AWARE of what you want to be different.
2. Next, be AWKWARD at it. Fail, fall, learn, be clumsy.
3. Then PRACTICE again. Fail, fall, commit to PRACTICING it again and again. Try again, refine, adjust, learn, reflect, PRACTICE again. Pro tip: look ahead for opportunities to practice, pencil it in, be intentional, don’t take your PRACTICE by chance.
4. Before you know it, you will have integrated this new way, and it will be AUTOMATIC for you. Nice work!

Be AWKWARD friends. Give yourself permission to fail, to fall, yet perfectly AWKWARD.

Yours in being awkward,

Jill