Tyler and I were in Kauai in May. We stayed at a community in Princeville called Sea Lodge. So blessed, it was a community at the end of the road, on a cliff over looking the ocean. Tyler was out for a run one morning, and I was coming back from meditating over looking the ocean. I was carrying my chair, and I said good morning to a man who was walking towards me.

He immediately said to me, “have you seen the albatross?” I said no, I didn’t know there was one around. He went on to share in his excitement that it was in the long grass, around a hole on the golf course. He shared all sorts of directions with me, down the street, to the right, to the left, on the sidewalk, on the fairway, he thought it was 1.5 – 2 miles away. He took his phone out, and excitedly shared with me the picture of the albatross he had taken. I visited with him a little more, and asked him if he was visiting or if he lived here. He shared he was the caretaker of Sea Lodge, that he just loved it there. He was so happy. We chatted a little more, and he went on his way.

Tyler got back from his run, we met up at the Airbnb, and I shared with him there is a albatross not to far away. Then I told him I’m not sure if we can find it, because the caretaker who was sharing directions with me, this way and that, was a little confused.

Tyler, not missing a beat said, “hold on, this man is waking up each day in Kauai on a cliff overlooking the ocean, and you are waking up each day to look at a computer, who is confused here?”

He has a very good point.

So, it got me thinking about confusion. Where in my life am I so certain, so clear I have it all figured out, even a little righteous about it, all my goals mapped out. And, where in my life could I benefit from living with a little more confusion, that maybe I don’t have it all figured out? It made me wonder, am I ok living with confusion? Or, does everything need to be in order, planned out, organized? Here’s what’s true for me too, there are a few things I’m confused about, and I stuff it down, I resist it. What is the gift of turning it upside down, and letting that confusion eek out and be present with it for awhile?

I’ve been taking a break from yoga, and feeling the nudge to get back at it. What I love about yoga is that it is a place for my body to live out what is happening for me. For example, this question about confusion, if I bring it to my mat, my practice can help shake it up. I notice when I stand on my head, when I turn it all upside down, something shakes up.

When I practiced a few weeks ago, I resisted standing on my head, I had some hesitancy about it. But here’s what I know for sure: when I practice yoga in community, and I’m ready, I can turn upside down with a little more strength. With my yogis right next to me, in their practice, we support each other. No words said.

So, I have a few things I’m confused about, some things I’ve been stuffing down. And what I know for sure if I stick to my practices, my life practices of yoga, strength, kindness, heart-brain coherence, gratitude – the confusion will someday break into insane clarity, ideas, insights, truths, brilliance, things made right. Maybe not tomorrow, not next week, it may take months, or even years. But if you stick to a humble commitment of your practices, confusion will blossom into something beautiful.

Dare to be confused. Dare to turn your world upside down. Dare to live with confusion. If you’d like to join me at Lifetime Southdale for a yoga class, to work it out a little, I’ve got some passes. Jess teaches a perfect flow, not too hot on Tuesdays. Seriously, please join me.

Thank you, Tyler. And, thank you Sea Lodge care-taker, great teacher of confusion. We’ll be back, and I hope to find you and thank you for giving me permission to be confused about a few things. And I know for sure by not stuffing the confusion down, bringing it to the surface, my confusion can blossom, life will get better and better.

Namaste,

Jill