I think I took my first exhale in a month this morning.  We got Tyler moved into the University of Wisconsin yesterday.  It’s been a summer of getting ready…and having those conversations one more time about all the big topics.

There have been a few moments these last few weeks that have reminded me how we love each other.

Tyler has been super blessed to work at a neighborhood hardware store over the last couple of years.  Settergren’s has been an amazing place to help him learn all sorts of things.  I brought him dinner a few weeks ago, and when I dropped it off he said: “Mom, wait, I’ve got something for you.”  He pulled out Settergren’s list of local handymen, plumbers, painters, lawn care providers.  Then he highlighted a few names on the list.  He said, “You may need this while I’m gone.  Tell them your Tyler’s mom.”

I drove away thinking, wow – whose taking care of who here.  A kid with a big heart knowing what his mom may need.

Then, I was working at home last week when I had a memory of a time that I was really intentional about loving him.  I was pregnant with Tyler, and just finishing up some training at an organization called The Institute of HeartMath.  HeartMath has done research on the power of the heart, and how when you feel a feeling of love, joy, or appreciation you create a coherent, radiant energy field.  When feeling these feelings your body and heart shift to a state of entrainment.  One of the researchers at HeartMath suggested that I use my heart to radiate love to my yet to be born baby.  So, I would fall asleep at night sending my new baby feelings of love, and hoping that our hearts would entrain with each other.

I hadn’t thought about this for years!  How cool that I would be reminded of this a week before he left.   It made me wonder, how do you love a kid 275 miles away from you?  Sending protein bars, Cheez-its, licorice, a Lululemon gift certificate is about as creative as I was thinking.

I woke up Sunday morning after the drop off thinking of him, and really wondering, what is the best way to love a kid when you are apart?  I checked my phone.  No text messages yet.  Yes, this is where I know Tyler is saying, “Mom, I’ve got this.  I’m wondering about you.”

I decided to tune in to one of my favorite spiritual teachers, and I wasn’t disappointed.  This teacher gave me exactly what I needed, that insight on how to love from a distance.  During the prayers, the teacher shared that a gift you can give another is to be a stand for them – to see them in all their brilliance, their intelligence, their joy, their happiness, their uniqueness, their kindness, and love – even when this might not be the reality for the person.  To see, hold, and affirm their best.

Ahhh…yes, here is when I exhaled.  Yes, I can do that.  Of course, I can hold for Tyler all that I know he is, even when it may not seem that way for him.  I can see him in all his brilliance, happiness, humor, determination, and kindness.  That’s how I can love from afar.  To hold that truth for him.

Thank you universe for answering my prayers and question about a way to love.  Thank you for helping me to emerge from this life transition sharing more love and joy… being a mom that can say “I’ve got this too kid.”…at least for today.